as i was reading through this list i kept wanting to copy and paste over and over; in the end, here is the link and you can read this good stuff for yourself.
fear is a powerful thing. fear of pain, suffering, death. fear of change. fear of not changing. fear keeps us from taking unacceptable risks, and in some ways can protect us from unsafe decisions. but sometimes our fear meter is calibrated a little too tightly. as we all know by now, the feeling of fear itself is its own suffering.
because we know that conquering of our fears is possible, albeit extremely difficult, i think we try to deny that our behaviors are often motivated by it. we tell ourselves all kinds of stories about who or what is responsible for what’s happening, or for the way we feel. we assign blame outside ourselves that allows us to play the helpless victim. and that is easier to manage than to see that we do have control, but taking that control would involve overcoming our fear. and that is so dang hard. it really is.
so we can understand why we do this. but at some point, if we look deeply, we can see that we are not actually avoiding suffering but instead replacing one suffering for another.
looking back over the month of november, #nablopomo, i can admit that i have failed. i have not written a blog every day, though i said i would do it. i promised my (2 or 3) readers. i promised myself. i feared criticism and judgment. i feared failure. now i look back and i can almost laugh at those feelings. what is criticism and judgment in this case but a response to the fact that i actually might have written something worthwhile, and that someone actually read it? what is failure in this case but a conscious choice to shift my priorities? for which, regarding either thing, i can say honestly that i have no regrets? in the end, harboring those worries was a waste of my time and energy. two resources that, at times, i am painfully aware are finite.
so stop it, people i love. stop being afraid. you are suffering right now; staying in that thankless job, pushing through your pains without seeking real answers, enabling that addicted loved one, sticking with it when it’s time to leave, keeping yourself from forgiveness or love that are yours for the taking, judging yourself harder than any other critic for your actions or inactions, relieving yourself of your power by making someone or something else responsible.
just try it. you might be surprised. you might still suffer (though no more than you already are), but then again you might look back and laugh at yourself. eventually you won’t even believe yourself that the other option is naturally worse, because you’ve never allowed yourself to go there. so GO THERE. leap, and the net will appear (john burroughs).
unless ‘there’ is some crazy high height. or toward a swarm of bees.
no need to go There.