traits of my best friends

taking the idea from a 30 day writing challenge, this is day 24: traits of your best friends.

the people in the pictures above are some pretty dang special people. and, they came out despite various unreasonable conditions to celebrate with me before my wedding earlier this year. and i’m super grateful for them every day. so, in the spirit of thanksgiving tomorow, i thought i’d talk about one of the things i’m most thankful for: my bffs. here’s an abridged list of some reasons why.

  • they are honest. i don’t always appreciate this trait in the moment it’s being exhibited 🙂 but when someone has to tell it to me like it is, these ladies have my back. honesty can sometimes seem mean, but these people do their best to be honest and also kind. their tough love truths remind me that they’re still my friends no matter what, and reassure me that when they say all that junk about me being awesome too, they mean it. that makes a girl feel pretty good. plus, when you know someone will be honest with you, that makes for some killer advice – which i am always going to these people in search of.
  • they listen. they don’t just hear (or read) what i’m saying, or for that matter, what others are saying. they want to understand, see the full picture. they try to move slowly to judgement. they want to give thoughtful feedback, and they know in order to do that, they should probably actually know what they’re talking about. and that seems like a rare commodity these days.
  • they admit when they’re wrong. which is rarely (hey, birds of a feather), but still. after all that active listening, it would be hard to say your opinions have never changed as a result. they are willing to take new information and adjust their previously held beliefs if necessary. some people get so stuck and inflexible, but these ladies care enough to be open to new possibilities. that means that over the years, we all continue to learn and grow together.
  • they’re strong. everyone has been through some tough stuff by now in life. some people crack under the pressure. these people have broad shoulders, for their families, partners, children, and friends. and when the weight does at times overwhelm, they find a way to keep their head above water, or get there, and fill those cracks with gold. this gives them empathy, patience, and a unique beauty that you wouldn’t just see by looking. of course, they’re all ridiculously good looking, too 🙂
  • they’re smart. math, science, law, history, literature, public relations… each of these people has a niche in which they blow me away with their knowledge and expertise. sometimes it’s not even what they do for a living! but they go out into the world with curiosity and come back with some amazing info (that i sometimes get to find out and have for myself! bonus!).
  • they like me for me. (not because i look like tyson beckford.) we may have different interests, different political or religious beliefs… but none of these people would judge me for being different (nor other people for that matter). in fact i like to think they enjoy our differences as i do, because due to all the traits listed above, this can make for some great conversation. or at times, knowing when to just leave it and say nothing 🙂 but i have no fear that something might come up some day where they would say, oh i didn’t know you felt that way, we can’t be friends.
  • they are loyal. i’m not saying they have never talked behind my back. hey, in some cases we have known each other since we were born. or 6. teenagers anyone? but i do know for a fact that they never did so with malice. and i also know that if they heard anyone else talking about me that way, they stood up for me even when i wasn’t around.

so, in summary, these are some solid people. and the amazing women in the photos above aren’t even the comprehensive list. i am beyond lucky to have these humans in my tribe and on my team. life is better when shared, and over the years i have come to share it with a truly rockstar cast. i hope they know they have a teammate for life, how much i love them, how much i appreciate who they are, that i am lifted and inspired by them every day.

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