morgan, circa 2016

nov. 14: what was it like to be you in 2016?

well, it was pretty hard. but here’s how i’m going to approach this, because there’s a lot i could vent, and yes it might help, but that would involve liberties with other people’s privacy and that is not my choice to make.

today i watched a segment of a series on cbs news called “note to self,” where someone addresses themselves at a younger age and tells them the story of their life. it was joe biden’s note to self, and i can only dream of having such a strong and inspirational letter written to the me today from the me after many tomorrows. but for now, this will be my best shot.

dear (ahem year old) morgan of 2016,

it gets better. i promise. well not everything. some things get worse. which is to say, don’t forget to appreciate the things that are really great right now. you are young, you are healthy, you have both of your parents and your ole sassy gram around. you have a great little sister on your team. she loves you (as your whole family loves you), and she “gets it” when it comes to that crazy family of yours. you are so lucky. not everyone has that.

you have a solid tribe of friends who love you, too. you have been through some lifey life with them by now, and your relationships will only get stronger over the years. you are going to be there for each other through some crazy shit. they are going to need you, and you are going to need them, in ways you might not even guess. but you’ll do that for each other without hesitating, and you are so lucky to have a bonus family out there in your corner. not everyone has that.

you may feel far away from them right now because, well, you are. i know it’s hard that you can’t pick up the phone at any time (different time zones) or hop in the car and grab lunch. but you do have technology to bridge that cold atlantic, and that is so lucky. not everyone has that. i don’t want to tell you where you end up because that would ruin the surprise. i know it’s hard not knowing where your life will go, not even in the smallest part of the picture. i know you feel a little adrift, a little without purpose. but i promise you it won’t always be so. in fact, it might change sooner than you think. here’s a secret i don’t mind sharing – you are a lot stronger than you know.

if you’re reading this at the end of the year, you are a newlywed now. this year is supposed to be hard. there is so much to learn about yourself, about your partner, about life. but you will figure it out and it will be so very worth it. if you can navigate this time of change and transition with love and respect and commitment, you will lay the foundation of the most solid partnership of your life. give it everything you have. no matter what else happens, if you both do your best, it will be good enough. morgan, know that you are enough.

you are going to learn so much in this life. i am almost jealous of you now, even though as i said, so much has gotten better. i am jealous of the wonderful discoveries you have yet to make. of your TIME. you have a tendency (and don’t deny it, i am still this way more than i’d like to be) to worry and fret. remember that quote you read in the past couple years about worry being like a rocking chair? it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere. that is true. i know it’s impossible not to worry, but you will benefit the more you try. there will be time.

you’re going to do this, but let me give you a tip and maybe you’ll do it sooner. get back to yoga. dang that was good for me.

right now so much is up in the air, and the things that aren’t, are tough. a lot has happened this year and you have been hurt in ways you wouldn’t have guessed by people you wouldn’t have guessed. you have handled some things well and others… well, you’ll get better. i know you can’t help feeling unsure about so much. but morgan, trust yourself. trust me. it gets better, and it gets better because you are so capable of making it better. keep putting one foot in front of the other, and i promise they will take you amazing places.

love,

(ahem year old) morgan of the future

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